Finding Your Soul-Mate

"Isn’t it wonderful to know that this is very definitely doable? The problem is that so many Christian singles are not convinced of this."

For some, finding a soul-mate is one of the more challenging aspects of life, but for the Christian man and woman, it can seem even more daunting. I hear my Christian girlfriends complain all the time that there just aren’t enough good Christian men to go around. Many Christian singles say that after they’ve met someone, things start out pretty good; but at some point during dating each other, the person doesn’t turn out to be who they thought. Inevitably this happens because one Christian is perhaps at a different stage of spiritual maturity than the other. The bottom line that many are quickly coming to the conclusion that we cannot get away from God’s standard on this subject. We can’t place Christian dating on a shelf, and pretend as if God has nothing to say on the matter, because He absolutely and unequivocally does.   

“By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.” 2Peter 1:3(NLT)

The knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, provides us with every piece of wisdom necessary to live a fantastic life while holding fast to Godliness. We do not have any excuses when it comes to this front. We can have rich and fulfilling relationships, and we can nurture and cultivate them by maintaining our allegiance to the things of God.

Isn’t it wonderful to know that this is very definitely doable? The problem is that so many Christian singles are not convinced of this. They find themselves struggling with upholding God’s standard. It’s particularly true in the instances where the object of their affection is someone who isn’t as devoted to God as they might be.  If you are currently in a situation like this, prayer is indeed paramount, but it is also vitally important to avoid becoming emotionally invested in an individual when God has not given you the green light that he or she is the person for you.

We know that marriage is God’s desire for any man or woman who desires it for themselves. Heavenly Father ordained the union of marriage, so we can have every assurance that if marriage is something we yearn to obtain, it is most definitely contained within God’s Will for our lives. God created us to experience the wonderful emotions of love, passion, and commitment, so certainly He would want us to be fulfilled in this area of our lives.

If things do not work out in a relationship, of course you may experience feelings of sadness and heartache, but never allow these feelings to overpower you. Being single should be a time of reflection and growth. It’s a time to get really grounded in what God requires for the stewardship of another’s heart, and to also strengthen the areas where we are weakest. Often times this is what failed relationships teach us. In the face of heartache, our first inclination is often that of wanting to access blame on the other person for what they did or didn’t do, or to be angry that things didn’t work out; but our forgiveness conveys faith that God has more in store for us. He has ordained a person for us to love and cherish; and this is where our focus must lie. Not only must we forgive the person that may have behaved poorly, but we must also forgive ourselves.

We will often go into relationships ill prepared, lacking the emotional resolve and spiritual strength to deal with another’s idiosyncrasies and shortcomings (and trust me, we all have them). This is why preparation is so key. Ephesians 6:10-11(KJV) tells us, “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” This is not a suggestion. It’s a requirement.

Not only does partnering in marriage require us to be strong in the faith, but finding our soul-mates does as well. One of the reasons why relationships end is because the things that should be important to us, according to God’s standard, are not. We opt for physical attraction rather than spiritual attraction. We allow the fleshy things to outweigh spiritual character, and this is a recipe for disaster. Jesus Christ will help us to reroute our expectations and desires so that they line up with God’s best. And this is a process that takes time.

1Timothy 4:8(NLT) says, "Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.” God very definitely has someone for you—your true soul-mate.  Understand that you are training for a lifetime of living and loving in Godliness, one where you can be a source of tremendous encouragement and help to the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with. Proverbs 27:17 (NLT) tells us that “iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” You have to be in a position to build up your beloved as he or she does the same for you; and you must be able to do it in the midst of whatever obstacles you may face as a couple.

1Peter 1:6 The Message (MSG) says, “Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.” So you don’t have to worry that you’ve missed your blessing, or that it has passed you by, because it hasn’t. Endeavor to steer clear of the blame game, and continue to build your strengths, strengthen your weaknesses, and sharpen your faith. Let God’s love prove you pure and ready to partner with your soul-mate.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

"Finding Your Soul-Mate” written by A. Copeland for VictoryInJesusChrist.life©2019. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.