Every day is a good time to talk about love, but this week it is particularly befitting because it is a time that many concentrate their efforts and attention on the subject. Many of us will make it a point to demonstrate our love and caring through cards, flowers, and candy on Valentine’s Day so that the target of our affections will receive an extra dose of something special. The truth is that every person who deserves to be smothered in ooey gooey loveliness from a special someone on Valentine’s Day will not be; and the day after can be really tough for some. Facing questions like, “So, what did YOU receive…” or “How did you spend Valentine’s Day?” are innocent enough, but they can also be a little insensitive. You’ll answer the questions honestly of course, but in your heart you might wish they were never asked, or that you would have had different answers—answers that paint a picture unlike the one that is hanging in your heart right now.
One person said to me, “I know God loves me, but I can’t understand why He doesn’t give me someone to love.” This is a very logical way to think. God is a Giver. Everything and every relationship that you and I have is because of His goodness. So it is not off the mark to assume that if our hearts are hurting for whatever reason, that He has the remedy for it. The goal of just about every Christian I know is to receive answers to prayers, but we have to remember that there are a few other very important things that will ultimately accompany any of our prayer requests. We don’t often see those things, but we must have confidence that God sees, and He’s working things out for us.
Love requires capacity
The bible teaches us that to whom much is given, much is required. We have such a loving Heavenly Father, and He doesn’t penalize us for not having the spiritual depth and strength that a blessing might require; He helps us. Through the indwelling Holy Spirit, God builds love capacity within us, which means that God helps us to increase in things like compassion, understanding, wisdom, patience and other spiritual goodies. These help to elevate our thoughts and confessions to equal the love of God that is anchored in our hearts.
God’s love is different from the way most of us define love. We have a very limited definition of love, and God’s love is infinite; it’s limitless. God’s love creates. It produces things and makes them better than they were. From this we can deduce that God’s love corrects and reproves. He instructs us in His Word to put on His kind of love, and this commandment ought to change the way we pray and what we pray for. It’s very important for us to know this, because you see, we have no problem asking God to give us spouses, more money, better relationships, health and healing, but this is just half the story.
We’re on a timeline here. The clock starts to tick as soon as our Christian journey begins, and from there you and I are to be pliable to God’s Will. Through the indwelling Holy Spirit, He begins to teach us how to really wrap our hearts and minds around what it means to live a life of love. As we learn, it becomes necessary for us to put our individual definitions of love under the microscope of God’s Word. When we do, it becomes overly apparent that God’s love is greater than any pain or difficulty we might be experiencing; therefore, our trust in Him must grow beyond what we are feeling.
God’s Love is greater than our pain and loneliness
Jesus Christ said in Matthew 11:29 (NIV), “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me.” Some of the behaviors and emotions that you and I associate with love may be a little off base. And if they are, we have to take a seat and allow Jesus Christ to teach us; this takes humility. One of the very first lessons he will teach us is that the love of God is an inside job. Love doesn’t begin at the point where we meet someone to love us back. Well-formed love is already ours to have and claim. A new person is simply evidence of our spiritual maturity to extend that which has been freely extended to us.
Every born-again Christian has the love of God inside them, because they have the spirit of Christ. But it’s a known fact that even though some of us have access to the greatest love available in all of eternity, there are still many very lonely Christians out there. If loneliness is an emotion you feel often, know that God’s love is greater than any human emotion, and know that His love can and will heal your heart if you let it.
The love of God inside you is huge, and loneliness is just too small a box to house it. God is knocking at the door and beckoning us to step outside our boxes and step into His domain. In Matthew 4:18-20(The Message), Peter and Andrew were throwing their nets into the lake when Jesus Christ was walking along the beach of Lake Galilee. He told the disciples, “Come with me. I’ll make a new kind of fisherman out of you. I’ll show you how to catch men and women instead of perch and bass.” Now what do you suppose Peter and Andrew did when Jesus extended this chance of a lifetime invitation? They took it, of course, and followed Jesus. They dropped everything that was familiar to them and began to follow this man, the Christ. They were captivated by his overwhelming love, and couldn’t help but respond to it. Jesus is calling out to us in this very same way. He is calling upon us to respond to his love, and for many of us, this is the answer we’ve been waiting for.
God’s Love is Transformative
The critical question isn’t one of “why am I still without the love of a hunny?” The critical question is “how am I responding to the love of Christ?” There is absolutely no reason at all to have feelings of remorse or resentment about being single, because the truth is that you are never alone. God is your sufficiency. He’ll take care of your needs because He loves you so much. In due season the seeds you’ve planted will yield the harvest you desire. Every time that you go to God with the expectation of receiving something from Him, He gives you exactly what you need. We need to begin to fully trust this. You and I are to operate out of the overflow. We should have more than enough of God’s love in our hearts to put loneliness on the run, as well as anything else that doesn’t serve us well.
Loneliness and insecurity perpetuates a fear that causes us to remain in one place. God is working some things out in our hearts so that we will not be hesitant to cross the lines when it’s time and step outside our comfort zones. Just as the disciples were transformed in an instant through the love of Christ, we are being transformed through his love as we learn to strip away our fears and insecurities, and give ourselves over to God’s love.
It’s not just about a Valentine’s sweetie, or the yumminess that companionship adds. When we ask God to increase our territories by adding a uniquely special person to our lives, this will include the expanse of our influence and impact on the lives of others. So while we’re praying for all our desires, we must make it a point to pray even more for answers that will increase our knowledge, put our faith in gear and drive our lives to higher heights in Christ. God will never ignore our pain, and He wants us to embrace our days with the fullness of joy, but He also wants us to define love by His standards. This means that we define love by what we do with what He’s given more than just how we might feel.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
“Redefining Love”,written for VictoryinJesusChrist© 2022. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
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